My last diary entry for this year.
And boy what a year it has been, with confusions, uncertainty, success and failure, struggles and efforts.
But I would like to say tonight that this year has been terrific, and I understand, but I want to remember all those moments when I couldn’t do things anymore, I was so weak that I could have given up but I didn’t.
I want to respect my brave spirit for not giving up the whole year, sticking to what I was supposed to do and trying my best to just keep trying and keep going. I feel good that I have made it till here. I am definitely not happy about a lot of things actually, I didn’t like how I wasted my time a lot of times this year, procrastinated hard on some days and did things that I wasn’t supposed to, a lot of times. That part of the year was devastating because every thing around was poking me, the pandemic, thoughts in my head that you didn’t do what you were supposed to and now you are just stuck. Ad I still hate that part of this year. But that’s not enough, just talking or thinking about it is not going to work. Or even thinking about what could have been won’t do it. I have to do it. What is coming the next year is very much exciting and amazing. It requires a lot of thinking, planning, hard work, efforts and dedication. And I am all up for it. While I have spent the whole pandemic just trying to cope up with the situations, just trying and doing what I wasn’t supposed to and then regretting later, I wanna make the coming year much more better.
The moment I said that I’ll do better next year, there was a flashback in my mind and my mind said to me, “You said the exact same thing last year”. And my response it, yes exactly that’s what I said but that is what I am saying as well, I don’t wanna just say it, I am going to do what I am supposed to and not do something I’ll regret about the whole year. I think I have had enough depending upon these days and months and years for making my time better. I think it’s now my time, it’s me who has to do it hereon. I am gonna do it.
So yeah, you haven’t had a bad year, you of course had bad times but you have clung to things and made it till here.
You just need to focus on somethings and you are going to make it next year. I am going to do what I am supposed to! The journey here after would be DIFFERENT.
And yeah, that’s what I have regretted for in 2020 and what I am up for in 2021. I look at new year as a big new opportunity. I hope the coming of a new year also marks a coming of a new me.
And you my journal, you have been an amazing person last year, going through every emotion with me and sticking around every time. Thanks for doing it. And you know what, I just had an idea that I am going to post this entry on my blog.
So, my blog, you have been great too. Connected me with wonderful souls around the world and gave me a place to pour out emotions and feelings every time since last year. And remember last December we had a complete new start and a new journey to blogging, this December we’re having another big and new start to Poetry!
So let’s start! Here we go! Happy New Year! May this year be full of opportunities and joy…
That was my wild diary entry, It was weird I know, but I just wanna take a moment and thank everyone who reads my blog and visits it… Thank you so much!! Siddhesh