Let’s Catch Up- Oct ’21
busy little boy
I’m Siddhesh this side. I’m 18 & I don’t care ’bout anything… Thought you might need a little re-introduction ’cause I came on here after years literally! Yeah I know I just popped for talking ’bout my book a few months ago this year and then I just vanished somewhere… I had exams and some school stuff to do to be honest. Well I wanted to write to the beautiful readers on here so here I am! A little nervous haha. Let’s begin, get ready to see a lot of polaroid pictures I’ve made while I was getting chewed by my entrance exams earlier and actually ’til the end of this academic year.
But seriously those exams were meant to happen in February this year and look when I’ve given them- in September! That delay and uncertainty just sucks up all of the interest “I” built up throughout the years. And it’s not easy to really cling hard onto a thing while it’s literally pushing you off and giving you all the possible pain it can… HA! I just mean to say that education system was quite disorganized and equally uncertain as the students were in the past year. Hope everyone gets their sh t together…Anyways all of that is done and I am free as a bird for at least a few more weeks. The freedom I kept yearning for- forever? Yeah whatever, I have what I have and it’s all about using time wisely now. I mean I cannot risk wasting time, I was surprised to know how idle I’d be in my free time! God! Like I was shook when I learnt that about myself. So friends and readers, check out if you’re using your time or at least having fun with it or it just goes somewhere- nowhere .You know the ironical sh t is that I realised I was wasting time and being idle in most of my day when I started working hard and doing a lot more things. Yeah. You never know until you step out of a comfort zone right…
I gave this state level entrance last week and hopefully it’ll help me realise about all the things I have effed up and get me in a college so I can start studying for heaven’s sake and be responsible for things in life… Okay wait… I mean seriously I should talk about real purpose of me being here. Here are a few serious faces I made while studying and staring into the empty space of my room, thank you!🙂
Moving on, I wanted to tell you how it’s been going and what I have been doing and would love to hear back from y’all, you know the email, the social IDs so what’s stopping? nothing… Hop on and write me back. I also wanted to thank everyone who reads everything I put on my instagram and blogs and who has supported my poetry, taken time out to read it! That’s a blessing and I’m very very very grateful for having you all around. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!
I last wrote to you on the new year’s I guess? Man.. things have changed so much since then, and it almost seems like everything has changed so fast and yet everything seems to have taken its own time to happen this year, you know what I mean? Probably yes.. My exams- getting postponed and cancelled to mess with my head, they sure disturbed my daily health routine that I had squeezed myself into and which took 1700 years… And then sure India and a few other countries went through another tight nationwide lockdown. By the way how’s everyone doing now? Are you able to travel and walk around your houses? The 2nd lockdown was short and all but sure got it’s work done… yes i ended up feeling exhausted and totally non-productive throughout the lockdown AGAIN! Ahhhhhhhhh! Even though I seem to be doing fine now but when I look back I haven’t done enough this year and I need to get something more and good done in remaining months of 2021(I did enroll in a writing class yesterday… I hope I complete this one and will try to not pile it up with the other 10 pending ones). Then oh yeah my poetry collection came out which now seems like “not a big deal Sid”. So I start wildin’ and search for more things to do whilst ignoring all the others I already have on my plate. And boom! Surprise, surprise, you’re anxious as F again!!Do yourselves a favour people- never think about anxiety while you feel it.But then later on I did get into studying for extra hours than I regularly would and that helped a bit. I attended school for the total 2 months it reopened, so that was a lot of fun. Like I literally got a few assignments which I was very very happy to complete since I got to do those after 2 years!? And sure I had friends around all the time which again was a lot more fun!! That’s literally school friends thing right (we’re put together in a room and that is why we leave no stone unturned to experiment our craziest ideas and have a lot of weird angsty fun that we dreamt of having in last year of school) !!
So yup that is literally how chaotic and fast early 2021 happened.. Sir you’re gonna say goodbye in 3 months and I’m still having the same worries and same amount of things to do… Comeon! Will sure update you about next 3 months in another dramatic essay for sure.
Coming to exam season, I wanted to tell y’all the positive turnaround of mind that happened throughout the pandemic. How I have been thinking a lot about my mental health and how a lot of the thoughts coincide with the adulting sh t I’ve been experiencing lately. There’s a lot of do this and don’t do this tbh and in the beginning I sorta panicked but now i seem to be doing fine (at least better) haha. the exam seriousness might not have boosted the studying in my life but sure made me aware the state of mind I was living in for the past couple months- like I was trying to find myself but then I realised that all of the finding cannot be done by staying away from what you do in your life, you have to manage simultaneously. Let’s just say that I was happy to work and all this while I really really strived to do something.
Since we are hovering around the exam season and the whole studying energy, here’s a prose that I wrote right after I came back home after giving that exam, a little dramatic maybe? no? go for it! here it is:
Some gems from the top shelf kept me calm and occupied and excited throughout exams:
And also my other muses…
Can we underestimate power of art? can we?
And then a more pics of my face staring into the abyss. Everyone was like why are you so scared for these exams and I was like uh oh that’s like an open invitation to a long long long lecture from me😞 I mean, proper exam i gave last time was in feb 2020, anyways I’ve prolly done this to myself. moving on-
I hope you all are having a good time. There’s a lot everyone’s fighting against right now- personal issues, problems at work or at school and several other things I can only imagine of- so keep going for whatever is your goal and remember that resistance only appears at places where there’s a force in the positive direction. Go out there, sit in the sun and gaze at the magnificent and notorious sky above. Drink more water and mocktails and gear up for what you’ve always anticipated to do, get it done right away!
Are we done? I’m surely not done. I wanna type for the rest of my life and keep talking but yea, that’s all the time I wanted from you. You can get back to doing whatever you were (yk what that means right? we do tend to forget why we hopped onto our phones & internet here or what we were doing prior to logging on) and I’ll catch up with you soon…
Bye, have a nice day.